Are You Finding Hope In Darkness? You’re not alone!

This blog is to raise awareness about mental health. Living in our society there are lots of stereotypes around people that should or shouldn’t have struggles with their mind. But in reality, no one chooses to have it, it just hits you out of nowhere and more people suffer than we realise.

From the outside, it’s easy to think that someone has got their life sorted out. They can be organised, friendly, patient, a good listener, responsible, a team leader, resilient, confident and have a smile on their face, but it still doesn’t mean the person is coping mentally or physically. You don’t just have to see things for people to be struggling.

The internet is filled with amazing information, support services, organisations that are accessible day or night for support. But also comments, misinterpretations surrounding mental health causing harm. Social media for example can stop people from reaching out and getting the help that they really need. Instead, provide them with opportunities to compare themselves to others.

How do I know this? Well, I was one of them. I’ve been struggling with my own anxiety and mental health for about a year and only recently spoke out. It got to the point that I was exhausted putting a mask on and pretending, just to protect other people from worrying. It was time to put myself first for once.

I’m not going to lie. I had moments of regret… It was the most frightening time of my life. I was ashamed, worried people were going to see me differently and scared that people wouldn’t understand. But has been the best decision I’ve made. Now I’ve got people around me that I can talk to, writing really helps for me as well and reading quotes for motivation. You’ll start to train your mind to see positives in each day, even if some days you have to look harder.

To others it may seem I don’t want to be here or that I don’t talk much. But the truth is it’s more difficult than that. Imagine when you have been afraid or worried in your life. Then try to think having that feeling of dread constantly every day. Often you don’t even know why and the easiest tasks can seem like the worst nightmares. Like asking for directions or help at work, contributing in meetings and just simply talking with one another. Even going to work is a positive.

When I enter the workplace I feel apprehensive. Multiple thoughts go rushing through my head - What if you get laughed at? How are you going to cope? What if you need to ask for help? What if your leg starts shaking and people look at you? What if? What if? What if? Despite this, I throw myself into my work, as I want to do well and am not letting this beat me. Without this wisdom, you wouldn’t have been able to tell. Instead, you would have just seen a person walk in and get to work.

As I enter the building, my mind is racing and my leg starts to shake. As soon as I know I might have to share information and talk to people, it’s like my brain takes over, capturing my ability to concentrate, I have no control in stopping it and often I just freeze. I persevere through this though and get through the day the best I can. Believe me, I have got so much more I would love to say to people, I just can’t seem to get the words out.

I am constantly overthinking everything that I do and have a fear of the unknown as well as the known. My brain wires over itself and results in me having to be busy all the time. I can’t just sit still. I have to be organised because that’s at least one thing I can control. But, as soon as I resolve a solution in my mind another one comes, it’s never-ending.

Some days are better than others and some days are worse. I might prefer not to talk and separate myself from the workplace. Or I’ll interact, work in groups and feel comfortable in my environment.

Daily, I am fighting battles with my own mind.

The message to take away from this is to be kind and think before you speak. You have no idea what someone could be going through. Check-in with a friend, do a good deed, give someone a compliment because that might be a lifeline that they need to hear.

If you’ve read this and are struggling with your own difficulties, just know that things will get better. Days will be challenging, but the key is to never give up. We are all in this together, no one is alone!

If you would like to get in touch, you can email... Togetherfindinghopeindarkness@outlook.com

Thank You